Diablo 4 in Haiku

Diablo 4 has been “frustrating” lately, so here are some really bad haiku to describe my current experiences with how fucked up the game is right now.

Note: I hate on the game because I loved Diablo 3 and how they managed to fix the game in the Reaper of Souls expansion, and these “design decisions” felt like a punch in the face.

Season one: Déjà vu

I slay the elite
Malignant Heart, I click thee
I slay the elite

Skill issue

Frost elite monster
Keep getting chained crowd controlled
Don't get hit five head

Life on a minion necromancer

Mages and reapers
Please move out of that puddle
Spam raise skeleton

Horse design 101

On the horse in town
Spam space to sprint but cannot
Who hurt you blizzard

Aspect: a storage story

Legendary drop
Quick inspect, a perfect roll
Forever in stash

Blizzard and battle passes

Platinum credits
Not enough for next season
Fucking again blizzard